that's pretty much my signature remark now.

dismissed ka sa college (one of my good friends i haven't seen in a while): ganon?

incomplete ka pa sa thesis (me and a shitload of pasaway journ friends): ganon?

wala kang pera (you, me and everyone we know): ganon?

malapit nang mag-march at wala ka pa ring mukhang ipapakita sa iyong thesis adviser: ganon?

super overdue na ang isa mong article sa peeedeeeeye (me): ganon?

wala ka pang resume na ibinibigay kahit kanino, pero may delusyon ka nang magsolò (me): ganon?

may posturings kang kaya mong lumagare, makaipon lang para makapagsarili na after graduation, pero simpleng deadline di mo masunod-sunod for some reason (me): ganon?

so! what's new?
talaga? ganon?
(insert suggested resolution)

tanginang buhay to.

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in other affairs, i went to loyola today. to my gramps' lot. no reason, really. aw, come on who am i kidding? i need all the support i can get with my thesis. and if that includes divine intervention, then so be it. mind you, it's the first time i ever went there by myself. without anyone by my side, without private transportation, without any occasion to speak of.

and while i was talking to gramps, the air smelled of kfc chicken. the 2-piece original recipe chicken meal. it was his favorite. and everytime we go there as a family, we always make it a point to buy him some good ol' 2-piece chicken. BUT, because i was broke a while ago (all my cash went into vanity. and even that i paid on debit), and my loyola trip is sanctioned by no one but myself, i just promised him that, tomorrow, i'll come back to bring him some 2-piece.

bukas tay, promise.

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as if something possessed me today, i pulled out my old white (dirty) versace jeans couture pants from a couple of years back and decided to handwash it. you know, take away the rust and dust stains and stuff. for no apparent reason, although i'm hoping someone invites me to an all-white motifed party this very moment so i can have a chance to wear it (white bottoms are the hardest to maintain, my god, and i can't wear it everyday). some bleach and a plastic brush and i was able to scrape the stains away (and some skin cells in my palm, i think).

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i'm not myself today. it's not my habit anymore to go home early, cook a snack, nap, wake up, have dinner, and sleep in the wee hours of the morning. but tonight, i just did. i made some of those fry-to-cook prawn crackers in the pantry when i got home from loyola. after which i put the versace pants in the wash, ate the damn crackers, listened to janet's velvet rope cd in the den (which i never do anymore since my mp3 player came along), went up, slept, woke up to have some dinner, rinse out the pants, go back up to the office, and blog.

i was supposed to go to the gym right now. i'm getting soft again.

dammit.

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i still haven't gotten around to writing down my definite order of battle with my thesis, but i think i'll start tomorrow. i need to interview a shitload of people about my thesis subject. and i need to learn how to do profiling stuff properly. i'm one tad short of being his unofficial biographer. but hey, i'm still in infancy mode, as far as this thesis is concerned.


wish me luck.


xanananananana

i don't usually like to post song lyrics in my blog. i kinda think (no offense to those who do) of it as pastiche-y. but i'll make an exception to this one. this song made me have the cry lump tonight. for those who know what happened to me, i think you can figure out the connections on your own.

for those who don't, well, just enjoy the lyrics. download the song on limewire, or better yet, get a copy of tori amos' cd, "tales of a librarian." look for "baker baker." listen to it with a really strong cigarette.

xanananananana


Tori Amos - Baker Baker



Baker Baker

Baking a cake

Make me a day

Make me whole again

And I wonder

What's in a day

What's in your cake this time



I guess you heard

He's gone to LA

He says that behind my eyes I'm hiding

And he tells me I pushed him away

That my hearts been hard to find



Here there must be something

Here there must be something here here



Baker Baker can you explain

If truly his heart

Was made of icing

And I wonder

How mine could taste

Maybe we could change his mind



I know you're late

For your next parade

You came to make sure

That I'm not running

Well I ran from him

In all kinds of ways

Guess it was his turn this time



Time thought I'd made friends with time

Thought we'd be flying

Maybe not this time



Baker Baker

Baking a cake

Make me a day

Make me whole again

And I wonder

If he's okay

If you see him say hi

so after the long online slumber... oh well, i don't want to have to repeat my existential musings on the OTHER blog. if you want you can just check it there. xananaventura.blogspot.com

anyway, i haven't been posting in the lj for so long because so many unspeakable things have happened to me this past month that i have no choice but to text friends and people concerned about it. then again, it's over, shit happens and what else can i do about it but move on? so here.

now, for the real all saints post:

we in the family usually go to the cemetery (loyola) every october 31st. no reason, just to avoid the madness that's usually november 1st. but this year we tried experimenting, like so many things we've experimented on these past few. so not only did we go to loyola on the first, we braved the people traffic by going early evening, when the number of people coming and going is at its peak.

true enough, not only did we have to hurry to our tented place to beat the rains, we had to stay there and bear the knee-high flashflooding until the rain stopped late in the night.

bored and all, i roadtested the camera on my new phone. i was hoping for a scarefest like last year (context: last year, my sister daphne took a photo of my gramp's tomb using my mom's phone. and we saw an impression of a long lost grand relative when the photo came out. my mom couldn't stop talking about it, until now.). but really, i learned the hard way that motorola vga cameras work best when there's light. anyone who owns a first-gen razr v3, a slvr l6/l7 or even a c261 knows that the vga camera's pretty harsh when it comes to facial flaws and all. but that's only if there's not enough light to it.

case in point: the photos i took with the moto c261 vga cam:







those came out because the lighting was nonexistent. however, i took this photo with the same phone, and the results are smashing:




(that'll be my second lj avatar soon. hehe)

and after the whole visit we hauled our hungry asses to a shakey's and ate belgian fries, chicken, pasta and the family-size (aka, dammit, i'll die tomorrow size) manager's choice thin crust pizza. the next day i had to haul myself to gym lest i negate everything i've been working for the past 7-8 months.

and i've been eating a lot these past few days. and doing more crunches and push-ups as well. hope it pays off when second semester comes barging in.

xanananana

i just have to point this out. check out what i found on cnn 30 minutes ago:




question: was the cop behind thaksin in a pensive mood, o nagpapacute siya? y'all know how body language is relative to different societies. still, this amused me to the hilt. hehe

here's the link to the story: http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/09/24/thailand.assets.ap/index.html


_________________________________

putanginang pag-ibig iyan.


xanananananananananana

i just got this spam mail from some russian girl named/coded "carolina." note how she tried hard to make it feel as if we're close, but she doesn't rellly effing know me. haha!

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_________________________________________

i am sooo not danoely. and that's sooo not my email address. shet.

there's also this 419 scam i got. these spammers are soo clever and sooo creative, you'd fall for them if you don't have a steel alloy heart like i do. haha

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if you want to know how to have fun with these people without getting killed, maimed and marked for life (because some dimwit scammees do think they're getting a million-dollar cut), check out www.419eater.com

the site is fabulous!

now on to normal stuff.

there's nothing normal about my life lately.

my schedule's fucked up.

i am close to getting fucked up (if you know what i mean).

dammit i need a breather.

xananananananana

now's the only time i can blog alittlemoreorlesscomprehensively after the hell i went through yesterday. when i got home from work (the photo shoot i'll be talking about in a while), i just washed my face, washed my hair, changed into my trademark basahan couture, and hit the bed like it was a lover bitch in heat. i was soo tired.

i had the dreaded 140 exams yesterday. it wasn't exactly rightminuswrong this time, but come on! i prepared for true or false. i guess the prof takes delight in seeing his minions (i am not one of them) writhe in intellectual pain? but i have to say, that triple starbucks doubleshot (thank you misha for recommending that "wake me up morning juice")really gave my brains a workout. and i love that palpitating feeling i get everytime i do it together with dunhill filters. really makes me think i'm doing something busy.

but that wasn't really the highlight of the test. the fun part there was that we had to take a cab (from vinzons hall, to make thing faster) and run and scamper our way to cmc just to make it through the prof's mayilockthedoor policy. two people weren't allowed to take the exams, and that just sucks. i mean come on, they reviewed all night, and you'll just shut them out like that? i get the moral lesson, but i do feel extremely bad for them.

after the classes that followed (margie holmes, thesis consultations), the photo shoot/interview on this new restaurant at mabuhay manor at pasay, sutukil. it's seafood. it's filipino-themed. it's expat-filled. it's resort-style. it's gorgeous. the service is great, the waiters (with their pusit headdresses) amusing. and don't get me started on the food. with all the shit i ate, i'll have to fast for the next couple of days. ha!

go to this website for more dirt on where i mixed business and pleasure last night:

www.mabuhaymanor.com.ph

gorgeous!

today's like one of the first times i can prove to my creative writing professor i can make it to class ON TIME. but since i'm writing this blog right now, i think i blew it. there's always next time, though. HA!

then again, i wanna graduate na! (i have 3 subjects left next sem. so i'll still be sticking around, but not that much anymore.)

xanananananananana

i was busy stuffing everything in my head for that comm 140 exam (well, quiz lang siya. but it's like, blown to exam-level proportions everytime) when ponce texted me about chancellor cao suspending classes tomorrow, all levels, because of the sona. i've been burned by bogus announcements before, so i checked out the official website. but i'm still confused:




hmmm, pero does that mean na kapag suspended ang class bukas, included na ang morning classes doon? sorry ang ditzy ng tanong, but i really just want to be sure. at least i won't have to study for that exam until three days later. hahaha

then again, you can always count on me to go to pekeng pangulo's last sona.

xananananana

i just heard from my brother dear 25 seconds ago that yahoo! is introducing tagalog audibles in its y! messenger service.

hmmm, i wonder if they had stuff like, "k******n tayo!" or "tangina mo pare/mare!" or maybe "anak ng teteng, ganda ng post mo ah!" or something like that.

that'd be fun, in a perverted way of course.

(btw, i'm typing this in a contorted kneeling position while my brother the fartist sits on the computer chair. guess what? we're both fat asses! the big chair just can't fit two thin asses, let alone two fat ones.

surprise, surprise.)

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random quote from brother dear:

"o iha, tumataba ka yata ngayon."

"oo nga po tita. it runs in the family kasi eh."

(secondary sourcing from seventeen mag. my brother the fartist READS SEVENTEEN?! what the hell was he doing with my sister's magazine basket?!)

"...it runs in the family kasi..."

classic!


xananananananana

i delete ko kaya ito, hindi kaya?
pano kaya, idelete ko kaya?
nyanyanyanyanyanyanya

i delete ko kaya?
choosy ako!


- one of my conversations with my brother just two hours ago while dangling the possibility of deleting his multiply account-generated email in my google mail. this, in my most irrirating marge simpson-meets-paris hilton-meets-britney spears voice.

(kasi naman, i love account-generated emails like friendster and multiply as much as i love boogers up my sleeve. ugh)

xanananananananana